Sunday, February 2, 2014

VALENTINE'S DAY: Should You Celebrate Valentine's Day? should you celebrate valentine's day? www/



Sometimes Valentine's Day can cause challenges to surface in some relationships, specifically those that are not platonic and where only one party has emotionally committed to the other one.  Perhaps one party feels that they are not ready to be in a "committed relationship" but still expects "conjugal rights" in just about every aspect of the other person's life. Perhaps they have 'open, non-platonic relationships' with other people (third parties). What to do if you're in such a situation?


If you wish to win the woman you're attracted to (but won't admit, even to yourself), do NOT neglect to send her SOME TOKEN OF YOUR FEELINGS on Valentine's Day. Roses are a good way and a hot favorite to convey your feelings even if you cannot just yet tell her outright or if the moment is not quite right yet. Do nothing and it might convey INDIFFERENCE (on your part)!  Sentimental, mushy stuff? Maybe, but that is the nature of Romance 101. It's not the size of the gift but rather the intention of the act and the thought (and feelings, or lack of) that drives the intention and the action.

We don't care if it is just one stalk of rose, one bar of chocolate...anything (NOT just digital stuff, and definitely not just a text)...except NOTHING!  You won't be forgiven if she was secretly hoping you would declare or unveil your feelings...a little at least, especially if you've been together for several months! But please, no vacuum cleaners, cake mixer, kitchen/house stuff, especially if you've been together for a long time. If that is what she wants, fine but please include something romantic as well and pamper and spoil her a little...V-day comes just once a  year! Definitely don't take her for granted.

If you can afford to take her out to dinner, great, but if you can't there are some good Valentine recipe books and ideas for Valentine's dinner that you could tackle in the kitchen and surprise her with your (newly-acquired?) culinary skills.  (Find Valentine cook-books and free recipe ebooks here).

If you really care about this woman you will find that this act alone will result in huge romantic dividends. But if you can't commit your feelings for her after a reasonable length of time together, perhaps it's time to be upfront with her and move on?


If he still has not committed his feelings to you after a few months together check this out to see how you can change the situation so that he falls helplessly in love with you (again?) - either that or consider moving on. You don't really want to waste years of your life with someone who reaps the benefit of your presence (and treats you like a fall-back girl perhaps?) but will not reciprocate your romantic feelings and commitment in kind - there is no relationship future in that.  

You can get strong clues as to what he really thinks about you by the way he treats you on your milestone dates: Valentine's day, birthdays, anniversaries etc., and the way he behaves towards you generally.

If all else fails, draw the line - tough love is often the kindest love you can dole out to both yourselves. Being passively permissive does no one any favours in the long run because it is merely prolonging the inevitable - the breakup! (How to get over your ex in 24 hours). You can't predict or control the kind of hand Fate has dealt you, but you have a choice over your own actions once you know. So read the cues carefully because ...

"You've got to know when to Hold 'em, know when to Fold 'em,
Know when to Walk Away and know when to RUN."

The Gambler Lyrics - Kenny Rogers

On a warm summer's evenin' on a train bound for nowhere,
I met up with the gambler; we were both too tired to sleep.
So we took turns a starin' at the darkness out the window
'Til boredom overtook us, and he began to speak.

He said, "Son, I've made my life out of readin' people's faces,
And knowin' what their cards were by the way they held their eyes.
So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces.
For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice."

So I handed him my bottle and he drank down my last swallow.
Then he bummed a cigarette and asked me for a light.
And the night got deathly quiet, and his face lost all expression.
Said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

Now Ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep.
'Cause ev'ry hand's a winner and ev'ry hand's a loser,
And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep."

So when he'd finished speakin', he turned back towards the window,
Crushed out his cigarette and faded off to sleep.
And somewhere in the darkness the gambler, he broke even.
But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep.

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.

You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.
Chorus x3 - should you celebrate valentine's day?

Love and relationships are not dis-similar to gambling - you don't know the outcome, but you take a chance anyway; you think it's worthwhile for the risks you take and you make that leap in faith...whatever the future brings...  Sometimes it pays off, sometimes it does not. When it does not work out that's when you have to decide on your course of action. Wise and responsible players know when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, when to walk away and when to run.  It's easier to make better decisions if you believe: "You owe it to Yourself to live the Best Life you can!". You may not agree with everything we say here but hopefully you'll find an ace that you can keep?

If you do not have major issues with your love life, congratulations! Paint the town red on Valentine's Day and enjoy yourselves for you are blessed indeed.

"Life isn't about roses and sweets, but sweets and roses are about Life!" - This is an original quote created by, 2 February 2014.

BTW 'The Gambler' by Kenny Rogers is one of Oprah's favourite songs and ours too. It's a privilege to have access to this wonderful, Youtube resource and we hope this will continue forever - enjoy!

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