Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Secrets Of A Happy Relationship

Is There A Secret To Happy Relationships?

If there were a magic secret to relationships, someone would have already bottled it and made millions of dollars.

But there are several ways to make your relationship strong and give it the best chance of lasting a lifetime.

Most of them are common sense and some are just reminders of when the relationship was new. None of them is really a secret:

•    Love. It’s not enough to love your partner - you have to show them that you love them often. You should never be in a relationship if you don’t feel genuine love for someone, and feel comfortable expressing it.
•    Respect. If you don’t respect the person you’re with, there’s little hope for the relationship. If you laugh at your partner, feel he or she is often a joke, dumb or worthy of some kind of scorn, then what’s the point?
•    Kindness. Treat your partner with kindness always. A secret to relationships is to be as courteous when you’re alone and not feeling thrilled at that moment as you would with a stranger on the street.
•    Thoughtfulness. Put your partner’s needs and desires at the top of your list. Little gestures are often some of the most powerful.
•    Honesty. Lies can ruin a relationship quickly, even if they’re lies about nothing important. Don’t do anything deceptive and you’ll never have to lie in the first place.

All of those are important to a relationship and may be called the “secret to relationships.” But you really need all of them for a good relationship, and they’re things everyone already knows. The hard part can be figuring out how to express some of them.

Honest is pretty easy to show. Simply be open and honest during conversations. Don’t be afraid to let your partner see your true self, especially when you feel scared, sad, lonely or vulnerable.

Showing respect and showing kindness can go hand in hand. By treating your partner with respect, you show that you support them. You’ll back them up in their ideas and actions because you respect and believe in them.

Even when you don’t necessarily feel they’re doing the right thing, you can respect their decision and be kind in your words about it. Disagreeing pleasantly is a so-called secret to relationships.

Thoughtfulness and love can be expressed hand in hand, too. Telling your partner that you love him is one way to express love. But maybe he feels more loved when you reach out and rub his shoulders for a minute as you pass. Or you balance the checkbook so he doesn’t have to do it.

People perceive love differently. If you can find what your partner perceives as the most loving thing and do that, you’re expressing your love perfectly for that person. And you’re being thoughtful, too. You’re thinking of that person and trying to make them happy.

If you combine these things and apply them, then you’ve found the secret to relationships that can make your partnership a happy one.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

6 Red Flags That He Is Not Into You At All

Six Red Flags He is Not Into You

So you met this great guy you fancied after meeting him online.

You thought you were getting on great but you have little nagging thoughts which you brush away as quickly as they crop up.

Heed these warning signs that say he is not into you at all and move on:

  1. Most days he doesn't call you, and when he does it's usually on a Wednesday or Sunday night. 
  2. And when you do get together it's usually physical. He finds it convenient to carry on this way because he gets his physical needs met without being committed to you at all.
  3. He does not take you to meet his folks or his friends even though you've been together a while now.
  4. He doesn't remember important dates, like your birthdays, etc., nor remembers anything much about you, like your likes and dislikes.
  5. You make excuses for him ... all the time, to your friends and family.
  6. You are putting far more effort and time into this 'relationship' than he is.

      Tuesday, October 19, 2010

      7 Bad Dating Mistakes Women Make

      7 Bad Dating Mistakes That Many Women Make

      What are the seven deadly sins of dating that a woman makes?

      1. Being too eager when he asks for a frist date
      2. Jumping into bed on the first date
      3. Talking too much and not listening to him
      4. Thinking he's serious if he 'dates' you more than once
      5. Quizzing him about his life, work, business, friends too soon after meeting
      6. Expecting him to be a 'sugar-daddy'
      7. Ignoring signs when he's not that much into you
      8. Announcing on Facebook that you two are an 'item'. This would drive him away faster than a speeding bullet!

        Thursday, October 14, 2010

        Steer Crazy Questions From Online Daters!

        Common Questions Asked By Would-Be Dates

        Doesn't it get you steer-crazy when everytime someone contacts you on your online dating site they start questoning (interrogating) you to
        bare your whole autobiography to them? Hello, I don't even know your name, or if it is genuine or anything about you at all ... ?

        So don't be tempted (no matter how gorgeous the photo looks) to oblige that way, especially if you're new to online dating (and yes there are heaps of folks who have never used online dating before).

        Even experienced people are not immune because they can be scammed by extremely cunning and unscrupulous individuals or organised crime impersonating as "singles looking for love".

        So how much should you divulge?

        These are some of the things you should watch out for:

        • Ask them to read your profile if they want more information 
        • Be careful in your dating profile that you do not divulge sensitive information
        • Be extremely careful in your Facebook and other Social Media profiles (non-deletable for some!)
        • Be very careful if they start to probe into your financial affairs
        • Do not divulge your date of birth, passport, social security number (or other similar details), place of birth or your address (it can lead to ID theft)
        • Be aware that you are vulnerable if you are lonely, just separated or bereaved and that this could make you the perfect target of unscrupulous criminals 
        • Heed his strange behaviour - do not dimiss if your gut instincts tell you differently.  Your instincts are more accurate often than your mind (which attempts to rationalise even weird behaviours) especially if you have been man-dry for quite some time.

        You should be especially careful if several red flags have been triggered. Discussing with friends who are familiar with online dating can help you to see what is normal behaviour/ 'normal' online dating etiquette and what is not acceptable.  If in grave doubt don't meet them and report them to authorities both locally and on the site if there is a local office or contact available.

        Wednesday, September 22, 2010

        Signs Of A Gold Digger

        Is She a Gold Digger? How Can You Tell?

        Some women use online dating services for the primary reason to find men who will support them (and sometimes their whole family).

        Sad but it's true that some women are not motivated solely by love.  You can spot gold-diggers from certain traits as they are not too subtle about their intentions nor bashful about what they want.

        What Are these Traits - Here Are Some of Them:

        • She shows a strong interest if your profile depicts fancy cars or a house, or you've acknowledged your fianancial independence or wealth in your profile
        • She shows a lack or decline in interest as soon as you mention financial scarcity
        • She is interested in your wallet, your credit cards, your financial details.
        • She wants to be taken to very posh and expensive places and restaurants
        • She expects presents all the time especially expensive ones
        • She'll order the most expensive items on the menu
        • She expects to be spoilt and pampered and will not be subtle about this.
        • She is prepared to offer you sex in exchange for this style of living.
        • She may be seeing other sugar daddies too ... so don't count on her to be exclusively yours - in fact she is only exclusive to herself.
        • She is young and attractive - most probably decades younger than you.
        • And probably has had plastic surgery to enhance her looks. She may expect you to pay for some of her surgery by saying that it was for your benefit. 
        • She is highly manipulative, and she understands that your interest in her may be transient so she will extract as much as she can before you lose interest in her.
        • She will probably be good in bed (or pretend to be) and so fake orgasms ... for your benefit!
        • You may be attracted to date gold-diggers because you do not want complicated 'relationships'
        • Or you are older, in a 'mid'-life crisis and your ego needs to be flattered by the attentions of much younger women even though you know they are in it only for the money!
        • You like having a trophy-date on your arm to flatter your ego in public.
        • It's a 'marriage of convenience' if both of you date with your eyes open ... and your wallet can afford it!  For you will definitely have to foot the bill - she won't hang around if you are going to offer her fish and chips on newspaper or a ferry-trip on the Thames if she's expecting to jet-away to Monaco!
        • Nope, that girl is definitely not going to 'rough it'!  Just buy her lots of roses, furs and diamonds ....... every second day or two!
        • But then again, all you may wish to do is love them, then leave them! Happy days are here!
        By the way, the same applies to the opposite sex too, with a few minor changes. It's true the game has been changing for some time because these days many women are economically independent and in fact quite wealthy - very wealthy in some cases! A single, well-established but lonely woman with a great career or business can be fair game for someone who is looking for a sugar-mommy! Provided you know what you are letting yourself in for, then by all means, be a sugar-mommy if it makes you happy and you are not hurting anyone else ... just be prepared to hand over the car-keys of your hot wheels!

        Wednesday, September 15, 2010

        Dating Is Too Expensive

        Dating Need Not Be Expensive

        Dating is too expensive and I can't afford it. 
        Seriously, I'm friggin' broke!

        What girl in her right mind would go out with me?!

        Actually dating can be very inexpensive and still be alot of fun.
        Remember you can still impress your date ... with your personality rather than with your wallet and you might get a pleasant surprise!

        So How To Date On a Shoestring Budget? Try These Methods:

        •  Meet for a walk, take your dog if he/ she has one too - in fact you will have increased your chances of bonding if you have pet interests especially if you both have the same type of pets.
          • No pets? That's ok - still invite him/ her out for a walk - in the park, beside the lake, on the beach, quiet country lane, etc. Check out the local walking resources and find a setting or time that's sure to impress eg. when the tulips, roses or magnolias are in bloom, especially if you both share gardening hobbies. Or go and drink in the beauty of cherry trees in blossom if you're lucky enough to have these in your public gardens. 
          • Or invite him/ her to feed the ducks, yep, you heard right! Not just for kids, many men and women find this very relaxing and nostalgic taking a trip down memory-lane, as most people would have fed ducks in their childhoods.  If this is a new activity then this would be a great ice-breaker. 
          •  Invite him/her for a swim on the beach, bike or some other light sport that she is interested in and buy an ice-cream afterwards. Make small chat. Don't start talking about politics or heavy stuff unless your date is majoring in those subjects and then they may want a break or two from their studies or jobs!
          • Go to a fun-fair or local flea markets, buy some silly trinkets, share some snacks - this will allow you to become acquainted faster especially if you're feeling a budding chemistry for each other. Haven't you noticed that these recreational activities and places are more enjoyable when you have company? Your date will notice it too, especially if they have been single for a long time or have just broken up with their ex.
          The good thing is there's nothing expensive to spend at these venues!  They are perfect backdrops for a light intro into getting to know each other without breaking your bank balance and interacting in the real world rather than online.  In fact such a casual introduction is relaxingly refreshing and feels less threatening for women, opening the door for more dating possibilities with you, in the near future.

          So relax, have fun and enjoy each other's company.  If your date is into you, just getting your undivided attention for a day of fun will mean more than dining at a posh restaurant with someone else who they desire less than you.  Remember also to be creative - don't be afraid to try out new ideas.  If it helps, sound or test them out on your friends first, then tweak for maximum success, before you try them out on your date.

          Tip: Don't miss out on a whole lot of dating fun ... because you think you can't! Your free date could be the best date of your life ... so just do it!

          Wednesday, August 11, 2010

          Beware Their Mean Ex!

          Dealing With EX Issues - The Persistent Ex-Girlfriend or Ex-Boyfriend

          Have you ever started to date some gorgeous man then found that his ex won't let go?

          She is big, fierce and hairy as a Sasquatch!  And she's madder than an angry hornet because you 'stole' her man, despite the fact that they had already broken up before you met him.  Watch out - she has blades flying out of her eyes faster than 'The House of Flying Daggers'... ouch!

          And what about that gorgeous woman who is such a doll that you find yourself volunteering to help her in any way you can - notice the Hulk who calls himself her ex and how much he lurks around her?  He is not exactly pleased about you invading 'his territory' and moving in on his woman!  See how he flexes his huge biceps and beats his chest - eat your heart out Sylvester Stallone!
          Be very careful if the ex is possessive, controlling and obsessed because if they have undiagnosed mental instability/ disorder you are definitely in their radar and your personal safety as well as your date's could be put at risk, sometimes, extreme risk.

          If they start stalking you then head for the hills or better still, the police station.  Just pray that the cops take you seriously.  In the meantime be more vigilant and take whatever precautionary measures you need to keep safe until the ex has been checked out (better safe than sorry).

          Sadly, many fatally-wounded victims were not taken seriously by their support group when they first reported their fears about their dangerous exs until it was too late.  These tragic endings could have been avoided with timely and appropriate support. Make sure you recognise these situations and keep safe.

          Wednesday, July 14, 2010

          So You Jumped Into Bed!

          So you jumped into bed on your first date!

          You couldn't control your hormones, but did you at least stop to protect yourself from the risk of contracting aids, other STDs, genital herpes, warts and the increased risk of cervical cancer (for females)?

          Think condoms, put some in your wallet, your handbag, your pockets, your lunch-box! your brief-case, glove-box, etc. anywhere you can think of but don't just leave them there - use them! Condoms are the cheapest and most effective way to prevent a whole lifetime of regrets!

          So why risk your health to potentially lose so much ... when it costs so little?

          Condoms - Your Best Friend!

          So keep your dates close ... and your condoms closer!

          She'll thank you for it.

          Wednesday, June 9, 2010

          Do You Use Local Online Dating Sites?

          Online Dating For Singles Looking For 2nd Chance LOVE

           Online dating sites have been around for awhile now. Many people are familiar
          with the concept and most use them without too many qualms these days.

          However, getting satisfaction from these services may be a little more elusive.

          The more common complaints are:
          • people are not who they say they are
          • men just want sex
          • women just want "benefits" ie. free meals, movies, etc.
          • they are alot older than they declare in their profiles
          • they are bigger (in size) than their photos suggest
          • they use old (a decade sometimes) photos ie. younger-looking photos
          • they're unattractive (for those with no photos)
          • they're boring, dull
          • no chemistry
          • they're married (cheating their spouses)
          • they (men usually) come on too strong at the first 'date'
          • too touchy, feely on first date - ie. they want hugs, hand-holding, kisses!
          • too intense, 
          • humourless
          • nothing in common
          • lack 'normal' communication skills
          • lack 'normal' interpersonal skills
          • poor grooming
          • poor hygiene
          • your personal encounters?

          What are your thoughts? Would you like to share your experiences?
          Please feel free to contribute as we would love to hear from you.

          Despite the issues associated with online dating, it is still one of the best ways to date and love again for many people who lead busy lives or who cannot access those places normally frequented by many people.

          In fact, research has shown that online dating is more successful than other ways eg. meeting at pubs, church, or other local gatherings, when it comes to meeting and dating available singles.

          In my next blog I will discuss some of these issues in more detail.

          Dating and Falling In Love Again